An Unexpected Well
Where do you go to soothe a parched heart?
Some pictures are just precious to your heart. This one is to mine.
A while back, I had the blessing of attending the True Woman Conference on behalf of Wonder, a new and exciting Bible app for teen girls where I am blessed to serve as a mentor. My time at this conference was impactful and powerful in many different ways, but there was one moment that continues to refresh my soul almost a year later. A moment like that deserves to be shared.
To be transparent, my spirit was not in the healthiest place as I was headed to this conference, and I was unsure how I was going to make it through. I wanted to give these girls the best I had. I wanted to pour into them with every ounce of my spirit and shout from the rooftops just how good and amazing our King is. But my spirit felt dry. I was parched and withering for lack of Living Water. Life had gotten so heavy that I began to be crushed, and my spirit could no longer breathe. I tried all the regular fixes to the problem—prayers, meditation, and Bible study—but nothing seemed to change. So not only was I being crushed, but it felt like my prayers were being ignored—and it hurt.
It is hard to encourage others in Christ when you feel like He’s forgotten you.
But, that was my job. I had to figure out how to make it through.
The time finally came to begin our Wonder breakout session, so I slapped on a smile and steeled myself, prepared to pour out of an empty pitcher. I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to give, but if there was anything left, it was going to go to these young girls. It had to.
As I sat in the session listening to my fellow Wonder mentors, I felt my mind begin to wander and didn’t resist. Instead, I watched like a kid in the backseat, curious to see where the road might take me. I quickly found myself knee deep in a frustrated conversation with God… Why are you ignoring me?
I was craving a demonstration of His love—A reminder that I was serving a real God with real plans and real purpose. I was desperate for a drop of Living Water to soothe my aching spirit, but all I could see was desert. Endless, and desolate.
Jolted back to the physical world, I suddenly became aware that my team and I had been called to the front of the room. Oh right. I’m still on the clock. I hadn’t been aware that this was part of the plan, so I watched what the other mentors were doing and tried to follow suit while feigning confidence. Every step towards the front felt like ripping off a piece of mental armor—suddenly, I was face to face with a couple hundred girls and months worth of fear and anxiety. Why was I being called forward? Why was I called to this if You’re just going to leave me stranded? Was I even called at all?
I fought for all I was worth to anchor myself to the present reality, piecing together the context clues to find some sort of answer as to why I was now standing at the front of the room. Prayer. That’s it. They want us to pray with the girls!
Wait—they want us to pray with the girls?
This was a breakout meeting dedicated to sharing about a Bible app for teen girls. I certainly have no problem with prayer, but I was a little bit confused as to why an app would require personal prayers between the girls and mentors. A group prayer, sure, but this seemed a little odd.
That’s when I realized it was even more strange than I initially thought. We weren’t just praying with them. We were leading them in the salvation prayer. That was some message I must have missed during my monologue-rant to God. But hey, when God speaks, He speaks! Or, so I’ve heard. My phone has been quiet for quite some time.
Within seconds, teary-eyed young girls began to tentatively make their way to the front. Like a chain reaction, one girl’s bravery ignited the next, until nearly a dozen teens had come forward accept Christ as their Savior. While on tour, I was usually one of the only people that didn’t get to pray with the girls. It always brought me so much joy to watch my friends, but also a touch of sadness since I never got to be included in that moment. The idea of finally being included made me more excited than I can describe. This was it! Yes! If nothing else, at least I have this to bring me joy.
But my heart sunk as I looked across the audience. Every single girl that had come forward was on the other side of the room.
Disappointment hit me like a punch to the gut. Of course, I thought, trying and failing to hide the disappointment. I know I should have been thrilled about the girls coming forward. There were so many! What a beautiful sight to see my team on their knees, taking these girls hand in hand to the throne of God…
But I wanted to be a part of it.
I ached looking over at the crowd on the other side of the room. It felt like the confirmation of every fear and anxiety I had been battling. With the only breathe I had left in me, I whispered, “God, if this is where I am supposed to be, then why am I the only one standing alone?”
I slowly shifted my gaze, taking in the beauty of the girls singing worship to their Creator and trying desperately to muster up enough joy to join the chorus. But each time I tried to sing, I was met with silence. My pitcher was officially empty. So I stood there—confused, hurt, and utterly bone-dry. I’m not even sure for how long. Everything just felt so… meaningless.
I was taken out of my daze when I realized I had unintentionally locked eyes with a young brunette girl. Taking in her image, I saw something familiar looking back at me: a war between fear and hope. And something in me knew, at that second, God was about to speak to us both.
She stood—and I couldn’t breathe.
As she made her way to me, eyes still locked, I couldn’t help but notice the trembling in her hands. Reaching out to take them, I noticed the slightest shake in my own, too. I suppose confronting fear is scary for all ages. She told me her name, we bowed our heads, and we prayed—just the three of us.
There we were, alone and kneeling on the floor, soaked in the presence of the Holy Spirit. In one moment of divine design, He had spoken rivers of life to us both—One child, entering His family for the first time; the other lovingly reminded that it is the valleys that hold streams and meadows.
In a twist only God could write, my obedience in the face of fear and anxiety was used to dig the very spring of Living Water that could refresh my parched heart. Who would have thought that it would come from a moment like this? In the truest sense of the word, this was a precious moment to my heart. And I pray I never forget it.
God taught me a very important lesson on that dusty conference floor. He will never leave us without the ability to soothe a parched heart—but the spring may come from a place you wouldn’t expect. He can make Living Water spout from just about anywhere. If you can’t seem to find where His water is flowing, it may be because He is asking you to build an unexpected well through faithful obedience. For me, it turns out that meant leading a new sister to Christ.
What act of obedience could become an unexpected well for you?
Psalm 23 (ESV)
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Well said (pun intended). I’ve had a pretty rough first week of work, and I’m somehow simultaneously feeling like all I can do is rest is His strength but yet also feeling more distant from Him than usual? Not sure quite how that works, but it’s where I’m at… This is helpful and reassuring. I’ll just keep pushing forward, ask Him for help, and hope we’re digging an unexpected well. I like that you referenced “living water” multiple times as Jesus did - I think I could benefit from opening my hands and heart and praying for that. You always bless me with these, so I’m always so excited when you post them. :)
"It is better to obey than sacrifice". We don't always know why God has put us where He has put us. (And sometimes we ARE in the wrong spot.) It's easier to obey if we know why He desires and directs a journey. But faith requires no proof, no explanation, and no logic. It is a trust that supasses evidence and is based on unquestioning belief and convinced confidence. And it is that faith that you held onto, and although shaken, did not let go. The saying "God is good all the time" is lightly stated, often doubted, and many times not felt. Imagine how Job felt! God is not only good, but He is RIGHT all the time or he would not be God. His ways are not our ways. We are alike in that we want to have our ducks in a row, know what is expected of us, be prepared, and then get on with it! Ellie, God is using you in ways you cannot know or see. Remember YOU plant the seeds and HE gives the increase. This was a vulnerable writing and many will identify with your situation. We continue to pray for His purpose to be fulfilled in your life and that "Firefly" will become a successful and far-reaching ministry. Keep up the writings! Love you muchly!